Aunty Info Network - India's Most Powerful Surveillance System
Mayank Singhal
1
👀 Forget CCTV. She saw you.
You think no one saw you skip the temple?
Wear ripped jeans?
Come home at 10:32pm?
The aunty on the third floor did.
And she already told your mom.
2
🗣️ Data travels faster than 5G.
Her chai circle is a newsroom.
One "bas suna hai…"
Becomes society-wide news in 30 minutes flat.
No Wi-Fi.
No delay.
Just whispers with 100% delivery rate.
3
📊 She's your family's social credit score.
Woke up late? Strike 1.
No MBA plan? Strike 2.
Dating someone? Finish.
Aunties don't just collect data,
They shape your entire reputation.
4
🏠 She moonlights as a real estate analyst.
Buying a flat?
She knows which builder is a scam.
Which floor has drainage issues.
And who fought with the society last week.
No lawyer, no broker, just her memory and mandir gossip.
5
📈 Her feedback is your KPI.
"How's your son doing?"
is not a question. It's a test.
Her smile = passive aggression.
Her compliments = analytics.
Aunty-verse measures everything: rank, salary, weight, even complexion.
6
💔 Even heartbreaks get leaked.
Breakup? She knew before your best friend.
Job rejection? She knew before HR.
Rebound? She's watching.
There's no secrets in her zip code.
Only unsent friend requests and collected clues.
7
⚠️ And still - she's underrated.
We ignore her power, dismiss her talk.
But she's the keeper of legacy, lore, and local intel.
The question isn't whether she's watching.
It's: what's she going to do with what she knows?